Friday, February 14, 2014

Update from Scott

We have now been home from Madonna for 2 months.  I am slowly adjusting to "normal" life. As of today, my hands and feet still feel like they are asleep 24 hours a day.  The tingling does slow with medicine (17 pills a day), but is always still there to some degree.  My hands have progressed the most as I can now type, drive, and feel pressure.  My feet are still a work in progress.  The other night I must have kicked Evans water bottle under the crib, but because my feet are so numb I did not feel anything. Katrin can rub my feet at night and I cannot feel anything. I really rely on my medicines for my feet.  I am regaining muscle, but this process takes a lot out of me.  I get tired so much easier than I used to.  I feel unproductive as I have to nap almost every day. It's funny a nap used to be a guilty pleasure that you did to reward yourself.  It's not the same now when I have to nap just to make it through the day. It's more of a chore than a pleasure.  It's a strange feeling when you get tired from tasks you used to take for granted.
That being said, I am very happy to be home.  I do not want to focus on the things I cannot do, but more on the things I can do.  I have been going to the gym and working out 5 days a week.  One of my main goals is to actually participate in the GBS 5K they are doing for us in Lincoln in April.  Every doctor I have ever seen has told me it will take at least a year to be able to run and play sports.  This only motivates me more to actually run in the 5K.  Even though I cannot feel my feet, and currently have to keep one hand on the treadmill, I have ran a 5K already.  My times in fact improve every week.

  I will run in the 5K and will be competitive when I do. If you are going you better train as you do not want to lose to the "patient" you are there to support. Katrin thinks that I overdo it at the gym ,but this is just the way I am wired. I feel you need to push as hard as you can if you want to improve at anything.  
The best part about being home is my family.  Katrin has been the most amazing wife and mother throughout this process.  She understands that I am still recovering and always gives me the time I need to rest. She is also always willing to do anything to help me.  I might take advantage of this by asking for homemade waffles or a backrub, but isn't that what you are supposed to do when you are recovering from something.  The kids on the other hand, are just glad to be home and glad that dad is back.  Hannah is constantly hanging on me and asking me to play "baby".  I love it.  She is the joy of my life. She is also a great "big sister".  In fact, her "big sister" dress is her favorite dress.  Last night she helped me bathe and get Evan ready for bed.  What would normally take me 20 minutes, took closer to 45 as she insisted on putting on his diaper and getting his pjs on herself.  That was not an easy process with the squirmy Evan.
Evan and I have developed a very close relationship.  I just love his energy.  Spend an hour with Evan and you will feel like you had a day workout in the gym. He just never stops moving.  He is into absolutely everything.  He is a climber and you have to watch him 24/7.  He is also a lot of fun and the sweetest little baby in the world.  The other day he chased Hannah around the kitchen trying to get one more bite of ice cream sandwich. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen.  I just hope he never loses this energy.  Evan is all boy and Hannah is all girl.

Overall, what I went through with GBS, is something I would not wish on anyone.  It was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life.  It also though brought me clarity on what is important.  I watched my family as they divided up time so that I was never alone for weeks at a time.  I saw Katrin and the kids move to a new city and adjust without ever complaining.  I know Katrin does not like hospitals or sickness, but she came to the hospital to see me for hours every single day with the kids.  While no one can control health, we can control how we deal with a family member being sick.  I am so proud of my family and feel closer to them now than I have ever felt.  Katrin is my soul mate and she was there for me in a very dark time of my life.  I love Katrin and my kids more than ever.  I also have a entirely new respect for Katrin's mother.  She flew from Germany to be with me while I was sick.  She would sit in that hospital room for hours and would stretch my legs trying to help me regain feeling.  She is an amazing person.
Lastly, I saw how much my family is there for each other.  Katrin and I talked the other day about my family and how they all came together when I was sick.  Allison came in before and after her 12 hour shifts at the hospital.  Ashley came over from London for a week and sat next to my bed every day when I was completely paralyzed. Amy drove from Garden City to Lincoln and Brian offered up his house to Katrin and the kids. My parents drove hundreds of miles on weekends just  to watch me in rehab for a day.  Megan and Barry had their entire lives changed as we became fixtures at their house for months at a time.  My whole family came together because one of our own needed us.  This show of support makes me only want to have a larger family.  The larger the family the more support one has in a time of need. I just hope I get a chance to thank every single person who was there for me as without the support I would not be where I am today.

1 comment:

  1. Scott, so much of what you reflect in your recovery mirrors what's going on with us in Wayne, the fatigue, the hard drive to recovery which causes concern with Katrin (and Ann), the need to rest, the enhanced sense of appreciation for people and family. Thank you for sharing, this was timely for us, we just spent most of our morning talking about those very issues. Be well, all of you!!