Tuesday, August 30, 2016

This Summer

Well, this summer turned out to be a lot different than anticipated.  The death of my dad has shaken me up pretty bad.  I am so thankful that my entire family got to spend time with him this summer.  We spent three weeks with him in Germany.  At that time we were all still under the impression that his weakness was the side effects from the last treatment he had and not the progression of his cancer.  He spend a lot of time in the hospital while we were there, but we got to visit him a lot.

These pictures are from the day we got there.  Hannah was playing hairdresser with my dad.  They had such a special relationship.  Hannah has been sad about his passing, but she also says that "at least he is not sick anymore".  Hannah talks about him a lot and I saw her pray the other night and asked her what she was praying about.  She said she was just talking to God and asked him how Opa was doing.  While we were eating lunch the other day Hannah was talking about how it is sad for Oma that she has to eat all by herself  now,  but then she said "at least Oma gets the comfy chair in the living room now".  Its amazing to watch kids deal with a situation like this.  She fully understands and is sad, but she also always looks for the good in every situation or the good that makes her feel better.  

My dad was so proud of his grandchildren and loved to hear all of their stories.  He kept telling everybody a few Evan stories while we were there.  Evan had heard us say a couple of times that the internet wasn't working right so he said "Oh I opened up the internet and there were three motors in it and one wasn't working, so I fixed it".  He definitely doesn't get his imagination from me.
Evan came with me to the main train station in Cologne to pick up Ashley (she came for my brothers wedding) and Evan saw a train sitting at the station.  He asked where it was going and I told him that I don't know.  Then he said "Oh I just talked to the pilot and he said it was just a test ride and he doesn't have any passengers and is not going anywhere".  He has been telling quite a few funny stories lately.

My dad was sitting in the living room and saw Nora just grab a Schnitzel and starting to eat it, so he wanted me to take a picture of it.  He thought it was funny that his granddaughter is eating an entire Schnitzel with her hands.
Another one of my dads favorite stories from this summer was when Nora and Annabelle fought over a level.  It made him happy that his granddaughters were fighting over a tool.  They were both pulling on it from both sides and were both screaming.  

My plan was to go back to Germany at the end of August to spend some more time with my dad.  Sadly he passed away a lot sooner than expected.  During our stay it became a lot more apparent that my dads cancer was progressing.  It is never easy to lose a loved one even if you know it is coming.  It does not make it any easier.  My dad lived with cancer for almost six years and did not have many "restrictions".  He moved to palliative care a few days after we left and spent his last days there.  They took really good care of him.  They were still talking about being able to bring him home when his conditioned drastically worsened overnight.  I left the next day to fly to Germany to see him, but did not make it home in time to see him one last time.  I really do wish I would have had the chance to see him again and talk to him.  I don't think I have quite realized yet what happened. Since I am so far away and did not see him all of the time I find myself wondering a lot of it is all true.  I think about him a lot.  I miss my family and Germany a lot right now.  I talked to him several times a week and I really miss him answering the phone.  He always had something funny to say when answering the phone.  He was a very special man and very memorable.  Anybody that has met him remembered him.

It is still very hard for me to write about him, but hopefully soon I can write a little more.

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry for your loss, Katrin. Thinking about you and your family. <3